The 12 days of Christmas
by rubberglue
Summary: There are 12 days to Christmas and a visit to a small coffee shop brings some Christmas magic to Gwen's life.
1. Chapter 1

_**AN:** So I decided to write a little holiday fic. The aim is to end it on xmas itself. Happy holidays everyone and thank you for reading!_

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><p>As the personal assistant to Dr Gaius, an elderly, curmudgeonly professor of history, Gwen often finds herself doing the strangest of things – none of which are actually in that contract she signed. So when he summons her into his study, passes her a caged bird which she has never seen before and tells her he needs it delivered to Round Table Coffee, a twenty minute bus ride from his apartment, she simply nods and picks up the cage. Who knows what goes on in that brain of his anyway? Well, she does since she deals with almost every aspect of his life but that's not quite the point here.<p>

"Hello!" says the bird. It cocks its head at her and regards her thoughtfully. She grimaces at it. Birds are not really her thing.

"It's for Merlin," says Dr Gaius, barely looking up from his papers. "Don't put your fingers in the cage. Have a coffee on me."

Gwen answers but Dr Gaius's attention is back on the book he's reading. Cage in hand, she leaves his dusty room and thanks her lucky stars that she doesn't have to do any housework, aside from the occasional brewing of drinks.

"Goodbye!" The bird is clearly a smart one. She wonders where Dr Gaius got him from.

The coffee shop is pretty crowded when Gwen steps into it, glad for the gush of warm air that hits her when she opens the door. Now, who on earth is Merlin?

Someone points her to a tree that looks like it's about to fall over and when she squints, she can see a pair of feet under it. Carefully, she pushes her way through the crowd and calls Merlin's name. A head pops from the tree.

"Bird for you," she says, stretching the cage towards him.

His eyes dart from her to the bird, then back to her again. He grins. "Hello! It's nice to finally meet you."

"What?" She blinks in confusion. Finally meet her?

Merlin grimaces, then he yells, "Arthur!"

"The tree is your business, Merlin."

Gwen turns and sees Arthur who is serving at the counter. He turns at the same time, blonde hair, bright smile and blue eyes that seem to bore through her when they meet hers. Something shimmers in the air between them and a sense of déjà vu fills her. But Merlin is talking to her and she redirects her attention to him, biting down a smile when she sees his twigs in his hair.

"That's not a Christmas tree."

Merlin shrugs. "It's a tree and it's almost Christmas. Makes it a Christmas tree to me. Why are you giving me a bird?"

"Dr Gaius says to give it to you."

"Well," says Merlin with a huff. "Tell him I'm still mad at him and a bird isn't going to change that."

"Alright," she says and hands the bird over. Before she can warn him not to put his finger in the cage, Merlin is yelping and scolding the bird.

She offers to look at his injury and somehow, ten minutes later, she's seated at a small table, squashed next to Arthur who has come over to laugh at Merlin and opposite a whining Merlin. They puzzle over the bird and she promises to ask Dr Gaius, even though she knows he will never give a proper explanation.

"Have you been here before?" Arthur cranes forward and looks at her with narrowed eyes. "You seem familiar. Do I know you?"

She shakes her head but she doesn't add that he looks like the type of person she wouldn't forget.

Arthur is still staring at her. "What's your name?"

"Gwen Leodegrance."

"Well." He blinks, shakes his head then smiles widely. "I'm Arthur Penn, owner of this lovely place."

"It is lovely." And that isn't a lie. It's a small, cozy coffee shop and their flavoured tea is the best she has ever tasted. She wonders why she has never noticed this place before.

"Cracker!"

Merlin tosses a napkin at the cage. "Hush. How would you like to try my latest concoction?"

"I wouldn't if I were you," says Arthur.

"Gwen is a nice girl, unlike you," sniffs Merlin as he stands. "It's yummy."

"Sure," she says and she's served some coffee drink smothered in whipped cream that Merlin calls Christmas Surprise. One sip and she's trying to stop her face from scrunching up. "I think it's far too bitter."

When Merlin's face falls, Gwen almost feels like lying and taking back her words. Arthur shake his head and sighs that he told Merlin so. Then the conversation veers off on a tangent and Gwen finds herself in a debate over Christmas trees (Merlin thinks any tree will do, Arthur insists that conifers are the way to go and Gwen has never thought this much about trees before) which quickly turns into a discussion about the environment.

"I need to help out at the counter," says Arthur. As he stands, he touches her on the shoulder and smiles at her in a way that makes her insides wobble. "Maybe you'll drop by again?"

By the time she leaves the coffee shop, she'd spent over an hour there.


	2. Chapter 2

She hesitates a little before she pushes open the door to Round Table Coffee. Then she blinks a little. Yesterday, there was just a slightly, ragged, crooked non-Christmas tree in the shop. Today there are paper doves hanging from the ceilings. Paper doves of irregular sizes.

"Pretty, don't you think?" She jumps when Merlin sneaks up on her. "I've a new drink today – Hazelnut Christmas Supreme. Guess what it contains."

"Hazelnut?"

"Ding ding ding. And for that you get a free Hazelnut Christmas Supreme." Merlin practically pushes her into a chair. Then he leans over and whispers, "Arthur will be pleased you dropped by."

"Oh," she says, unsure how else to respond. "Dr Gaius says the bird is called Kilgarrah. He also says you should understand."

Merlin's brows furrow. "Well then. I can't believe he found him."

He disappears before she can ask him what he means by that.

The shop is pretty busy again so Gwen just sits and watches. Merlin stands behind the counter, surrounded by a lot of bottles which he keeps pouring from. It makes her nervous – a drink shouldn't involve so many elements. But what did she know anyway? A few people are manning the counter but none of them are Arthur. Not that she cares. She's just here for more of their mango tea.

"Can't say no to Merlin, huh? It's a skill he has. Very annoying." A glass of brown liquid topped with too much cream is pushed in front of her, followed by Arthur slipping into the seat next to her. In his hand, he's holding two paper doves.

She scowls at her heart when it does a little backflip, but smiles at him. "Are the doves your work?"

With a laugh, he places the paper doves on the table. "Not really. Merlin's been in a bit of a Christmassy mood and I gave him free reign. I regret it, for the record. Never give Merlin free reign on anything. That's free advice for you."

"Advice noted." Then because she has no filter between her head and mouth, she asks, "Is he your partner?"

"Like life partner?" Arthur looks curiously at her. "No. But I suppose you could call him my business partner. Not that he actually put in any money into this." Arthur crosses his arms and flashes her that smile that makes her heart do that little leap. Her heart has never been this active before. "Do you have a life partner?"

Gwen knows she's blushing when she shakes her head. His responding grin only makes her hyperactive heart speed up again. To hide her embarrassment, she quickly sips at the drink, then chokes and forces the rest of it down her throat. "It's spicy!"

"Told Merlin that the chili was a bad idea," says Arthur with a sigh as he hands her a napkin. "Let me get you some tea to wash that down."

As he's off getting tea, Gwen tries to calm her pounding heart. She might not be an expert on relationships but it certainly seems like Arthur is interested in her and in all honesty, she's very interested. It's been a while since she's been interested in anyone and it's strange and it makes her want to run and hide. But before she can even stand up, Arthur returns with tea, a smile and conversation. And she's entrapped but she enjoys every moment of it.

He presses one of the paper doves, folded, into her hand when she finally leaves.

When she opens it, she sees his number scrawled across the dove's wing along with a 'call me' and a smiley. She pockets it and spends the rest of the day smiling.

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><p>AN: You all read closely! Hee. Thanks for the comments. :)<p> 


	3. Chapter 3

It's funny how she finds herself walking past Round Table Coffee on her way home from work, especially when you consider that it's a fifteen minute detour. Despite carefully keying in Arthur's number into her phone, she hasn't had the courage to actually contact him. She did, however, google his name, because she's creepy that way. (She also googled her own name, which came up with almost nothing significant much to her relief.) What she learns isn't comforting and yet here she is, hesitating outside the shop.

Of course Merlin chooses to pop out at that moment and the joy that crosses his face when he sees her warms her heart. With barely a greeting, he grabs her wrist and tugs her into the shop.

"Look who I found," he says, seemingly to no one in particular but when she looks up, she sees Arthur looking at her from across the counter, something in his eyes that makes her flush. Thank goodness her flush never shows under her dark skin. "You'll stay for the company dinner, won't you?"

She looks at Merlin. She barely knows them – three days is not enough to know someone, even with google – but there's a hopefulness in Merlin's eyes and there's also the fact that Gwen never knows how to say no.

"Stop it," says Arthur who is suddenly next to her. "Merlin is like a puppy when he meets people he likes –"

"Not in a romantic sense," says Merlin. "I have a boyfriend, you know. Arthur, on the other hand –"

"Shut up Merlin. We are having a small company dinner but don't let Merlin bully you into coming." Then he lowers his voice. "Although I admit I would like you there."

And of course she says yes. It's not like she has anything better to do at home, besides watch television and eat pot noodles.

She sips her tea – four flowers tea – as she watches Arthur and Merlin potter around their shop. The paper doves are still up, now accompanied by hollies. It's adorably kitschy. Leaning back in her chair, she notices that Kilgarrah has been placed in a corner of the shop and he's busy eating some seeds, occasionally lifting his head to squawk at anyone who goes too close to his cage.

Eventually, the shop clears, leaving Arthur, Merlin and some employees. She's introduced around as Merlin's friend and everyone is perfectly lovely to her. Despite their refusal, Gwen insists on helping out with the dinner and finds herself setting the table. Something smells good from the kitchen and her stomach rumbles. There's a flurry of activity as food gets brought out and somehow, Merlin has maneuvered her so that she's in the seat between Arthur and Merlin.

"French roasted chicken," declares Merlin proudly as he places them on the table. "I'll now invite our boss to make a speech and carve the chicken."

Gwen notices the quick scowl Arthur sends Merlin, before he schools his face into a pleasant smile. He talks about how grateful he is for all their work, reminisces about the fun they had as a group and ends of with dreams and hopes for the future. Gwen almost feels like quitting her job and working for Round Table Coffee.

An elbow pokes into her side and she turns to face a pleased Merlin. "He's quite the leader. Charismatic, confident, blah, blah, blah. Pity he's a bit of dork."

"Shut up, Merlin." A large piece of chicken lands on her plate. "Have some chicken," says Arthur. "The thigh, your favourite bit."

"How do you know that?" Gwen wonders, briefly and irrationally, if he googled her and somehow her preferred chicken part is all over the Internet.

But he looks as confused as she feels. "I – uh – guess you look like someone who likes thigh."

"I do like the thigh."

"Good," says Arthur. "Have some mash."

Gwen doesn't get to dwell on that incident for long as she gets sucked into the conversations happening around the table. She learns that Dr Gaius is Merlin's godfather and that Arthur comes from money. Actually, she knew that from her google skills. But google didn't tell her that he started this business in order to get away from his family. Neither did google tell her how attractive his laugh is or how easy it is to talk to him. It definitely did not prepare her for the way he looks at her or the effect his casual touches have on her.

The chicken is pretty good as well.

Arthur drives her home. He tells her about his step-sister and Merlin, who he cares about very much but he also doesn't. She tells him about her job with the cranky, mysterious Dr Gaius. It's easy, it's fun and he makes her laugh.

Then he kisses her on her doorstep and she suspects she's halfway in love with him.


	4. Chapter 4

When she opens her eyes the next morning, her throat is itchy, her nose is running and her head is pounding. She groans and buries her head in her pillow briefly. Grabbing her phone, she calls Dr Gaius, then feeling sorry for herself, she texts Arthur.

She regrets it immediately. Just because he kissed her last night doesn't mean that he's interested in her health. Or her really. It might have been all the good feelings from the party spilling over. After all, aside from a smile and a gentle stroke of her cheek after the kiss, Arthur had said nothing. And her spectacular google skills had unearthed the fact that he used to date Camelot's most famous socialite, Mithian Green. How does one even compete with the perfect Mithian Green?

He hadn't messaged her either. Not surprising since he doesn't have her number. Which probably means he has no idea who the strange person who messaged him _I'm sick :(_ is.

Humiliation courses through her and she shoves her evil phone under her pillow. Squeezing her eyes shut, she tells herself that maybe Arthur will ignore it. But the phone rings. In panic, Gwen presses the pillow harder over the phone, muffling the sound. She is going to have to change her phone number so he'll never find out it's her. Maybe she needs to move house as well.

Eventually a mix of hunger, a coughing fit and the fact that her phone has rung another three times drags her out of bed. Tugging her blanket around her, she shuffles to her tiny kitchen, praying that through some miracle, her fridge would be stocked with food that wasn't ice cream or chocolate. Even before she can open her fridge, her doorbell rings.

Gwen jumps. It's barely noon. Who would be here?

Her first instinct is to hide in bed. She's a mess, wrapped in a blanket covered with large, brightly coloured geese and for all she knows, it might be someone trying to rob her.

"Gwen? Are you there?"

It is worse than a robber. It is Arthur.

"Gwen, if you don't open up, I'm going to – uh - do something."

She cannot help her smile and she shuffles to the door and pulls it open slightly. "I'm fine."

In response, he narrows his eyes, informs her quite primly that he called her four times and she didn't answer making him panic. He lifts an arm, showing her some sandwiches he packed from the shop and that's enough to gain him entrance.

"Nice geese," he calls as he follows her into her home.

Once he settles her at her small kitchen table, he unpacks the sandwiches and passes her a flask.

"Tea?" she asks hopefully.

Amusement dances in his eyes. "Merlin says it's honey latte. It's his latest attempt at a Christmas drink."

"Does he know he doesn't share the same taste as the rest of the world?" Still Gwen takes the drink from Arthur and sniffs at it. It doesn't smell weird or anything so, foolishly, she takes a sip.

It's terrible. "Oh. It's an interesting blend of flavours."

Laughing, Arthur takes the flask from her. "I'll make you some tea."

They spend the day on her tattered sofa, watching some fantasy show. Arthur criticizes the sword fighting while Gwen laughs. She's a little disconcerted when this scene seems far too familiar. When his arm curls around her, she shrugs off her feelings. There are better things to think about, like how nice he smelled. Eventually, Gwen falls asleep against him. He simply tucks the blanket around her. When she finally wakes, there's soup boiling on the stove and Arthur for company and she thinks it's possibly the best way to be sick.

He kisses her again before he leaves, even though she tells him she's pretty sure she's contagious. Her mind, frazzled by fever and Arthur, conjures up dreams that involve castles, dragons and Arthur in chainmail.

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><p>AN: Again, thank you for the comments. And yup, this is going to be fluff, fluff and more fluff.<p> 


	5. Chapter 5

She is still sniffling at work and Dr Gaius looks disapprovingly at her, then dumps a folder of his handwritten notes for her to type out. Behind his back, she sticks out her tongue at him. A tissue permanently at her nose, a warm drink at her elbow, she types out his research on jewellery in the Middle Ages. It's a topic that she's personally fascinated with, or it would be if she isn't sick.

After an hour, the dark and dust that permeates most of Dr Gaius's home gets to her. So she tells Dr Gaius, grabs her laptop and heads to Round Table Coffee. It's bright and cheery there. It has nothing to do with the fact that Arthur is there. Nope. Not at all.

Merlin greets her with more enthusiasm than she expected, then foists another drink on her. She looks suspiciously at it but she can't resist Merlin's wide puppy eyes. It's not that bad – a little bitter and when she tells Merlin, he grins and proclaims that he'll have the perfect drink by Christmas. The shop is busy in the morning and she's about halfway through the notes when Arthur is finally free enough to sit down at her table.

"How are you feeling? You still look under the weather." He leans into her on the pretext of feeling her forehead, then sneaks a kiss to her cheek. "Oh, these look interesting. What are you working on?"

Gwen pulls out the photos from her folder and shows it to him. He nods and listens attentively as she talks about the research Dr Gaius has been doing on these rings from the Middle Ages. Heavy, intricately carved and clearly precious, no one knows for sure who they belong to and like several other historians, Dr Gaius has his pet theory – they belong to a powerful king and queen from a long forgotten kingdom – and wants to publish a paper on it.

Arthur runs a finger across the photo. "Wedding bands," he says softly.

Gwen looks at him in surprise. "That's what I think too. Look here, there's a faded inscription here that I think are their vows." She laughs a little self-consciously. "For some reason, I am convinced it says, with all my heart. This looks like a 'w' and this looks like an 'art' and well …"

He doesn't laugh at her. Instead, he gives her one of his toe-curling smiles.

"Kiss!" squawks Kilgarrah from his corner.

Obligingly, Arthur leans over and kisses her gently. Kilgarrah ruffles his feathers in pleasure while Merlin beams too widely from the opposite the room.

She usually doesn't work from home but in the silence of that evening, when she's usually watching television or chatting online with her brother, she pulls out the folder again and stares at the photos of the rings. Ever since Dr Gaius showed them to her and outlined his theory, she's been fascinated by them. _Wedding bands._ She blinks when, at those words, her mind conjures up an image of Arthur, kneeling in front of her, placing the ring on her finger. Shoving the folders away, she drops her head into her hands. Clearly, her illness and her far too strong feelings for a certain coffee shop owner are coming together to ruin her life.


	6. Chapter 6

There is kissing, there is touching and there is laughing but Gwen isn't sure what she and Arthur are. And that is just in that first half hour of her appearance at the shop. He never says and she never asks. Part of her feels like this is just a dream and if she pokes at it, it'll disappear. And she doesn't want it to disappear. Not yet anyway. Which explains why, despite her sensible suggestion to herself last night not to turn up at Round Table Coffee again, she automatically heads there after work.

She's sipping at another of Merlin's concoctions – Spiced Pumpkin Latte – and it's not bad, much better than the first few ones. Merlin practically preens at her comments. This time she is seated near the corner where Kilgarrah resides. He's eating some fruit and ignoring her despite her overtures aside from glancing at her then squawking, "once and future" every now and then, which only confused her.

"He's not the friendliest of birds. I am not even sure how we ended up with a pet bird that Merlin keeps quarreling with." Arthur stops by her table, his hands full of plates and cups he just cleared from another table. "Hello. How are you feeling?"

"Better." She smiles up at him.

He leans down and brushes his lips across her cheek. "Good. What can I get you? Today's special? Beef pot pie?"

"Sounds yummy."

She leans back and pulls out some readings from Dr Gauis to look through. He wants her to go through them again to see if he has missed any clue as to who the rings belong to. The readings are dense and tedious and her minds starts to wander. She imagines a handsome king, like those she's read about in her books – tall, strapping, golden hair and blue eyes. His queen is just as strikingly gorgeous and the two of them rule over a large kingdom with kindness and justice. She imagines that they had a difficult courtship with disapproval from both sides and perhaps there was a painful separation. And of course, it would be these gold rings that kept them going.

"Beef pot pie. What are you thinking about?" Merlin looms over her, grinning. Then he slides into the seat next to her. "You can tell me. I'm brilliant at listening."

"Why are you quarreling with Kilgarrah?"

Merlin shoots the bird the dirty look. "Has he been complaining? He's a disagreeable bird that's why."

"Disagreeable? You talk to a bird?" Gwen squints at Merlin.

"He has opinions I don't agree with," said Merlin with a shrug. "Like how much seeds he should get. You're getting fat!"

"Fool!" squawks Kilgarrah.

"See how he bullies me?" Merlin sighs exaggeratedly. Then he grins. "So, do you like Arthur? Are you going to rescue him from a life of loneliness?"

Gwen's eyes immediately slide to her pot pie as she cuts a piece and stuffs it into her mouth so she doesn't have to answer Merlin. Not that Merlin cares as he continues to wax lyrical over her supposed relationship with Arthur. He seems certain that she and Arthur are meant to be but Gwen isn't too sure.

These thoughts swim in her head as she sits in the car with Arthur as he drives her home. Surely, if he's driving her home and kissing her, he must like her a bit? Merlin certainly thinks so. Only the less sensible bit of her brain keeps asking if she's sure and taunting her with Mithian.

"What's wrong?" Arthur asks when he pulls up in front of her apartment building. "Are you still sick?"

"No. I'm much better." She can't seem to meet his eyes.

Gently, he touches her chin and lifts her head. Then he leans forward and kisses her. It's slow, light and so delicious. She whimpers and leans into him. When he ends the kiss, his eyes dark and full of desire as he stares at her, she finally asks, "why me?"

She's smart and sensible. But most importantly, she makes him smile and his heart pound. And he just really, really likes her, so much that he's constantly thinking of her. He says all these haltingly, his eyes not meeting hers, without his usual confidence or charm and for Gwen, that just makes it all the sexier. Which explains why, minutes later, she's now pulling off his shirt as he lays them down onto her still-embarrassing geese-covered blanket. Not that Gwen thinks about the blanket for very long, easily distracted by Arthur's lips on her throat and his hands on her skin under her top.

It's a little bit awkward and there's a moment when Arthur bumps his head against her headboard and another when she elbows him in his side. She may have kicked his thigh too.

"Sleeping with you is dangerous," he laughs, even as he continues to press kisses down her body.

Later, he tells her, with a grin, that the danger is completely worth it. Then in the most perfect moment of her life, he looks her in her eyes and whispers, "I think I love you."

She's speechless even as her heart shouts that she loves him too. He waits a while and when no answer comes from her, he pulls her into his arms and promptly snores in her ears.

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><p>AN: This might have developed a bit of a plot. Eeep. And thank you for the comments! :)<p> 


	7. Chapter 7

Good sex should lead to good dreams so when Gwen shoots up in bed in the aftermath of dreaming about Arthur dying in the most incongruous way (who gets stabbed by a sword nowadays?), she's very perturbed. Her heart is slamming in her chest and tension grips her. Next to her, Arthur is clearly not dead or having the same dream as her. His mouth is slightly open and his hair is messed up and looking at him, deep in sleep under her loud blanket, makes her heart clench.

The dream floats into her mind again and something nags at her. She drags herself out of bed and into the bathroom. Arthur merely grunts and rolls over, taking her blanket with him. As she wipes the water off her face, she catches a glance in the mirror.

It's her but it isn't her.

Her hair isn't that long and she definitely isn't wearing a crown. But the eyes that look back are hers and the mole on her face is also hers. She blinks. She throws more water on her face.

The reflection doesn't change.

The bench in the park outside her apartment building isn't particularly big but she and Arthur are sitting as far away from each other as possible. In the pond in front of them, swans swim around and around, going nowhere in particular, just like the millions of thoughts that fill her head. She sneaks a peek at Arthur who looks like he has his own share of thoughts in his head. They are probably the same thoughts as hers.

Because what else can you think about when you suspect that you have been someone else in a past life?

"Do you think these swans were once humans, in a past life?" They are the first words Arthur says to her since they stood next to each other in her bathroom, staring at some alternate version of themselves as flashes of memories fill their heads. At least the memories filled hers but they are nothing she can really make head or tails of. Yet they are clear enough that she knows they are real.

She turns to look at him. "Maybe we're imagining things."

"Joint hallucinations?"

"Maybe."

He looks back at the swans. "When you entered the shop that day, I noticed you from my spot at the counter. And my first thought was 'that's the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with' and I thought I was being irrational and foolish. Letting physical attraction overwhelm any common sense. The last time that happened, it was a disaster."

"Mithian."

His eyes widens and he is looking at her again. "Have you been researching me?"

"Ah," she says but he doesn't push her.

"Now I know why I feel the way I do." He takes her hand and a hopeful smile crosses his face.

And that is exactly her fear. "Arthur, what if these feelings we have aren't real, just remnants from our past lives?"

"Is that what you think?" There's coolness in his voice that wasn't there before and he drops her hand.

She swallows. It's something that has plagued her and she's a little embarrassed that of all the issues that may arise from reincarnation, this is the one that she's worrying about. It seems sensible in her head – the speed in which they fell in love, the intensity of the feelings – and the feelings may have been real hundreds of years ago, they may not be real now.

"You may not know how you feel," says Arthur after he listens to her, "but I do."

"It's been only a week," she whispers.

He stands and from the way his jaw is clenched, Gwen can tell he's upset. "What do you want to do?"

"Perhaps we need some time apart." Why those words come out of her mouth, she's not sure. The clench of her heart tells her it's not really what she wants. "Arthur –"

"Alright," he says without looking at her. "I should go check on the shop."

As he walks away, Gwen stares with damp eyes at the swans swimming in the pond. They mate for life, someone once told her. She wonders if they also mate through different lives.


	8. Chapter 8

Dr Gaius takes off his glasses and looks at her when she asks him if he believes in reincarnation. Slowly, he places them on the large oak table in front of him, steeples his fingers and looks at her. Then, donning his professor persona, he answers her question with a question. "What do you believe?"

"Last week, I would have laughed at the idea of reincarnation."

He lifts one eyebrow. "And now?"

"Now, I don't know." She wrings her hands, and even though she knows that there is not else in Dr Gaius's sprawling house, she darts a glance around just in case. Then she whispers, "I think I might have been a queen before."

Dr Gaius doesn't even blink. Instead, his lips move like they are about to smile but they never reach that state. "You would make a very good queen."

Gwen is not used to praise from him, and this seems excessive. She's a personal assitant, hoping to save enough to get a graduate degree. She barely has her own life under control, much less be able to manage a whole kingdom. "Dr Gaius, I need answers."

With a sigh, Dr Gaius pushes his chair back and stands. "Why don't you tell me what you remember?"

She tells him about her reflections, about being a maid, about making beds in cold rooms and about picnics with Arthur. The more she talks, the more she remembers. Images of being thrown into a cell, of tournaments, of being crowned flood her mind. Images of laughing with Merlin, kissing Arthur, chatting with the two of them in a lush room rush through her.

And then, she remembers the rings.

She stops in the middle of her sentence and rushes to her bag, pulling out the folder. All those dreamy stories she spun about the rings aren't stories she made up in her head. Now, looking at the rings, she can remember when Arthur puts them on her, not once but twice, and when they decide they should have it engraved with her words. She looks up at Dr Gaius. "You knew," she breathes.

"I had my suspicions."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

He slips his glasses back on. "Would you have believed me? Merlin is of the opinion that people need to remember on their own. Sometimes they never remember. Sometimes they do."

For the first time in days, she stands outside Round Table Coffee not filled with excitement or anticipation. Through the glass, Merlin's eyes catch hers. He spills the jug of milk he's holding onto some poor, innocent customer. After a quick apology, Merlin places the jug on an empty table and rushes to Gwen.

He smiles. "You remember."

The utter joy in his eyes makes any annoyance that he failed to tell her fade. He takes her hand and everything comes tumbling out of his mouth. Merlin remembers every time, every life he's lived. But not the rest of them. Sometimes their new lives intersect, sometimes they don't. Sometimes they remember, sometimes they don't. And this is the first time since their original lives that the three of them have reincarnated together.

Then, his eyes serious, he says, quietly, "I miss you and Arthur every life."

She hugs him then, holding him close. She cannot imagine what it is like to miss someone for hundreds of years. And she might know him only a week in this life, but the affection she feels for him now is clearly borne from a deep friendship in lives past. His arms tighten around her and more memories of their friendship flood her mind.

When they finally untangle themselves, the usual grin is back on Merlin's face. "You probably want to look for Arthur. He was pretty pissed with me so he left the shop. But before that, let me offer you my latest drink – Chestnut Praline Latte. It's very yummy, very milky. I promise."

She goes home after downing Merlin's drink (surprisingly tasty, if a little too milky for her tastes). And it's outside her building where she finds Arthur, seated in his car.

"We need to talk," says Arthur as he unfolds himself from the car.

Unsure of what to do, she blurts out that Merlin's drink is really good.

Arthur smiles. "I'm glad because if he can't come up with a proper Christmas drink, we might have to recycle last year's. Now, we need to talk."

With dread in her heart, she invites him up to her apartment. She wants to take back her words – does it matter that her feelings are rooted in some past life? Just being near him makes her heart soar. But before she can articulate any of this, Arthur sits her down on her tiny sofa.

"I don't know what all this means, or even if there is any meaning to it. And of course Merlin can't explain anything with any sort of clarity. What I do know is that hundreds of years ago, I loved you, today, I love you still and I'm sure, when we meet again hundreds of years later, I will still love you. But if you're unsure, then we'll take it slow – like two strangers who happened to meet in a coffee shop."

"Slow?" she asks, even as her heart starts to grow with affection for him.

He smiles, takes her hands and promises her lunch dates, dinner dates and walks in the park. And all the coffee and tea she could drink.

"Picnics? Dancing?" Her smile is probably wider than his. "I've always wanted to sing karaoke."

Arthur leans over and kisses her, his lips lingering against hers even when the kiss ends. "Why do I feel like you're milking this situation?"

Her laugh is swallowed by him and he yanks her closer. She doesn't push him away or let the nagging fears at the back of her mind win. When he deepens the kiss, she groans and sinks into him. They end up in bed again.

* * *

><p>AN: It's Christmas so I didn't want the angst to last too long. So be warned, it's more fluff ahead. ALSO, I apologise for the really weak insertion of milk in this chapter (I think most of you have figured out the swans and rings etc :p). Thanks again for the comments.<p> 


	9. Chapter 9

She calls Dr Gaius and tells him she's not coming into work then she follows Arthur to Round Table Coffee to open up. Merlin pops in a few minutes later, Kilgarrah in his hand, sees the two of them, then grins.

"All's well?" Merlin asks as he hangs up Kilgarrah's cage.

"About time."

Gwen turns around in shock. "Did the bird just talk?"

Arthur sighs and says teasingly, "In a world in which reincarnation is a thing, are talking birds such a surprise?"

"I'm not an ordinary bird," scoffs Kilgarrah. "Despite what Merlin seems to think."

With a roll of his eyes, Merlin puts a bowl of seeds into the cage. "Eat your seeds. It's healthy."

Gwen spends her time in a corner of the coffee shop, next to Kilgarrah who she peppers with questions about reincarnation until he snaps at her, lifts one leg and tucks his head under his wing. Gwen half suspects that he's pretending but she just goes back to the transcribing Dr Gaius has set for her. Occasionally, Arthur stops by her table, sometimes with a cookie, other times with nothing but a kiss. Merlin drops off his new drink and after one sip, Gwen grimaces at him.

"No?"

"It's too bitter and watery." She looks up apologetically at Merlin.

He shrugs. "Back to the drawing board then."

The Christmas songs in the air, together with a paper doves, lights, mistletoes and everything Christmassy that Merlin could cram into the small shop, wrapped Gwen in a cocoon of warmth and love. Every now and then, she looks up at Arthur and Merlin, and feelings deeper than a week's worth of affection stirs in her. Who else, she wonders, has friendships that have lasted so long.

She looks at the various people who enter and exit the coffee shop. How many of them have past lives? How many of them know? And did she know any of them in the past.

Somehow, despite the various thoughts that jostle in her mind, she manages to lose herself into her work and before she knows it, Arthur and Merlin are closing up. Arthur is working at the cash machine when Merlin turns up the music.

Then he's pulling on her hand, urging her to stand. "Come on, office hours are over and we need to celebrate."

"Celebrate?" Gwen asks with a laugh, standing up and letting Merlin pull her into his arms.

"That's we're together again. And we remember." Merlin's arm slide around her waist. "You don't know how painful it is when I see you or Arthur, reincarnated, but not remembering."

"Oh Merlin," says Gwen as she rests her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

She feels him laugh. "Life works in mysterious ways."

To the tune of _Last Christmas_, they sway as Merlin tells her of all his previous lives – as a milliner, as a nurse, as a teacher and now as a coffee shop owner.

"What was I before?"

"I met you once when you were a singer," he says. "You were travelling through the town I worked in and I never saw you again."

Before she can ask more, Arthur appears next to them.

"You hated dancing as a queen," he says, even as he reaches out a hand for her.

She smiles, lets go of Merlin who grumbles and slips into Arthur's arms. "I did. And yet, every party you hosted I danced willingly with all the lords and knights."

"You were the perfect queen and the best wife." Leaning down, Arthur kisses her, gently at first, then he pulls her flush against him and deepens the kiss.

The music changes and _Rockin' Around the Christmas Tree_ blares through the speakers. And even though she still isn't a fan of dancing, she bounces around, arms flailing, with Merlin and Arthur. In the reflection of the glass, Gwen notes that all three of them are awful dancers with barely a sense of rhythm between them. But she's laughing through tears and she's never felt so happy before.


	10. Chapter 10

Gwen goes to work today despite wanting to sleep in. After the dancing and the late dinner they scoffed down the night before, she is in no mood to work. But unfortunately, she is no longer queen of an unspecified kingdom and not in possession of an unlimited amount of money. Also, her rent is due after Christmas and her landlord definitely lacks any sort Christmas spirit.

It's her going over her finances on the bus ride to work that she realizes that she should probably buy some presents for Arthur and Merlin, and maybe Kilgarrah, the not-so-ordinary bird. And so, after work, she pushes her way through the throng of last minute shoppers at the local mall. Christmas songs play in the background of people talking and yelling, children screaming and sales people fighting for sales. She wanders into the tie section and stares at the selection of ties. It's what she always bought for her father and brother and any other males she owes presents. Absently, she reaches out and touches one silk tie.

Perhaps if she had more time, she could have baked them something. She ignores the little voice in her head that reminds her that her last attempt at baking had resulted in her having to air her small apartment to get rid of all her smoke. Maybe she could have put her rusty knitting skills to use. It doesn't matter at any rate because she only has three days and a selection of ties in front of her.

But ties are boring and Arthur and Merlin don't even wear ties as far as she remembers.

Her mind scrambling for ideas, she walks around the mall crossing off more and more items off the list of potential gifts. She says goodbye to mugs, t-shirts with silly sayings, pens and socks.

Then she sees it.

Arthur is already closing up when she arrives at the coffee shop. His grin when he sees her sends shivers down to her toes. He hops off the stool he's standing on and goes to her, kissing her hard. Then his eyes drop to the bag in her hand.

"Presents? For me perhaps?"

She shakes her head and bites down on a grin. "No."

He doesn't believe her. It's written all over her face but he just says, "Give me a few minutes to close up. I have a surprise for you."

Gwen finds herself completely unsurprised that Merlin tags along to their ice-skating date. He did that hundreds of years ago. There's no reason to stop now. The late night rink is all lit up with lights and filled with families and couples. Arthur and Merlin banter about who the better skater is and even though Gwen isn't completely familiar with them in this life, she's pretty sure that their argument is pointless because she is the better skater among them, thanks to childhood skating lessons her father insisted she attend. When she tells them that, Merlin looks impressed while Arthur merely arches an eyebrow then challenges her to a skate-off.

Arthur turns out to be a decent skater. Only not as decent as her.

She does a small leap – a waltz jump, lands well and turns to grin at Arthur.

"You're only going to hurt yourself!" calls Merlin as Arthur skates out on the ice.

Gwen leans against the railings which Merlin is gripping in his quest not to fall. "What's he planning to do?"

"Something foolish because the extent of his skating skills is skating in a straight line."

There's a yelp and when Gwen turns from Merlin to look, Arthur is sitting on his bum on the ice. Her heart in her throat she skates over to him and kneels down, her hands running across his legs.

"He's just milking this, you know," says Merlin.

"Shut up!" Then Arthur turns to Gwen and pouts.

She and Merlin end up bringing him home. It's the first time she's in his place and she's slightly taken aback at how big and expensive it looks. Google did inform her of his wealth but seeing it in front of her is a little overwhelming.

The three of them end up lying on Arthur's large bed.

"Is there meaning behind our reincarnation?" During a lull in their conversation, she asks the question that has been bothering her. "Like, do we have to stop an oncoming apocalypse?"

Merlin lifts himself on his elbow and looks at her over Arthur. "Kilgarrah says there is but I've never found anything in all my reincarnations. I just lived my life and well, died."

His answer is oddly comforting. Gwen likes the idea of being ordinary.

"I like being normal, you know." Arthur echoes her thoughts. "All that "unite the kingdom thing" was really stressful."

"Yeah," says Gwen. "I rather you not be murdered in service of your country too."

"That too," agrees Arthur as he slips an arm around Gwen and pulls her closer. He turns to look at Merlin. "I think it's time you go home, Merlin."

* * *

><p>AN: Thank you for the comments!<p> 


	11. Chapter 11

It's her day off and she drops by Dr Gaius's in the morning and gives him his Christmas present. He hugs her briefly then hands her a small box, telling her not to open it till Christmas. She kisses him on the cheek and slips the box into her bag.

Then she makes her way to her father's place where she finds him and her brother Gordon watching some Christmas special on television. They gather her into enthusiastic hugs and kisses when she arrives and her heart swells. They may not meet up very often but she knows she's loved and it's the best feeling. As they lounge round the television, eating lunch, Gwen looks at her father and brother and wonders if they too are reincarnated. But even if they are, they have given no sign of remembering anything. They spend a nice day together bonding over television shows and family gossip. Gordon gives her a book voucher and her father passes her a nice bottle of wine.

"What's new with you?" Gordon asks absently, his eyes still on the television. "Dad says you're dating someone new. When do we get to meet him?"

She can't help but feel the blood heat her cheeks. "How does tomorrow sound? He's having a small gathering at his coffee shop." The moment the words come out of her mouth, she regrets them. Not only has she not asked Arthur if this is ok, despite their years of history, she really has only been dating him slightly more than a week.

When she leaves, her father hugs her tightly. "You deserve someone special. I hope this guy is special."

"He's a prince," she says with a smile.

"Hello Gwen!" Kilgarrah is the first to greet her. She waves to him.

Merlin is nowhere to be seen when Gwen arrives at Round Table Coffee. Arthur is wiping down the tables so, after hanging up her coat, she goes over and slips her arms around him. "Can my dad and brother come by for Christmas drinks tomorrow?"

He lets the cloth drop from his hand, turns and hugs her. "Sure. You'll be coming after dinner?"

"Yeah. Where's Merlin?"

"In the back." Arthur rubbed her back and nuzzled her ear.

"More drinks?"

With a laugh, Arthur shook his head. "I think he's given up on that. Go and see what he's up to. He'll be glad to see you."

Upon entering the small kitchen at the back, she sees Merlin hunched over the counter, piping bag in hand, tongue sticking out of his mouth, hard at work.

"What are you doing?"

He jumps. "Gwen! I'm making Christmas cookies."

Gwen peers at the cookies, with Merlin's crooked Christmas trees drawn on them. "You really enjoy Christmas."

"This year is especially good," says Merlin with a smile so bright, it hurts her heart. "But I knew it would be good when Gaius told me you were working for him."

Her curiosity piqued, she asks Merlin more, leaning against the counter and sneaking bites from the cookies. She learns that Merlin met Arthur in school and he knew immediately who Arthur was. Arthur didn't then and although Merlin tried to keep his distance – reincarnation makes things awkward – they end up in detention together and have been friends ever since. Apparently Arthur didn't take Merlin keeping his reincarnation a secret well.

"He's an ass," huffs Merlin.

"You did lie to him."

"It isn't like I had a lot of choice. It never ends well when people don't remember on their own." There's a story behind this but Gwen can see from Merlin's face that he doesn't want to talk about it.

Their conversation turns to the small party Arthur is hosting the next evening and she learns that Arthur's step-sister will be there. According to Merlin, she's not the warmest of people and she's never liked Mithian. It makes Gwen a little nervous.

Then Arthur steps into the small kitchen, pulls her back against his chest and kisses the top of her head and Gwen's misgivings disappear.

* * *

><p>AN: Sorry this is late. Eep. Real life got in the way. Thanks again for the encouragement!<p> 


	12. Chapter 12

"It's a nice shop," says her father, standing next to her and holding her hand. "He owns it, does he?"

Gwen nods and tries to calm the persistent drumming of her heart that only seems to be getting louder.

"And are all the tables inside round?"

This time, she narrows her eyes at her father and scowls. He laughs and promises her he will not embarrass her inside. With a shake of her head and a sucking in of a breath, she pushes the door open and steps inside the shop. Merlin is there, behind the counter, and of course dressed in a santa suit. He grins and waves.

"Is that him? He, uh, seems very enthusiastic about Christmas."

Tugging her father towards the counter, Gwen laughs. She makes the introduction and Merlin immediately tells her father that he needs to try Merlin's Christmas Special. Gwen rolls her eyes but she leaves her father with Merlin as she wanders to the back to look for Arthur.

"Merry Christmas," mutters Kilgarrah as she passes him.

Gwen stops and coos at him, tickling his neck. For a brief moment, Kilgarrah closes his eyes and Gwen swears she almost hears him sigh. But very quickly, he hopped out of the way and glared at her.

Dropping her voice, Gwen says, "I've some meat for you." Then darting a glance to ensure that Merlin isn't watching – he's still deep in discussion with her father – then slips the bits of meat into Kilgarrah's cage. She's rewarded with a tilt of the head.

When Gwen steps into the kitchen, she sees Arthur on the phone. She knows the moment he spots her because his eyes light up and he smiles. He gestures for her to wait, then the smile slides off his face and he turns his attention back to the phone. She hangs around the kitchen, pushing things around, poking at things and looking into jars. Then, Arthur is sliding his arms around her waist and pulling her against his chest, his lips brushing against her hair as he whispers hello.

"What's wrong?"

He lets go of her and takes a step back. "My sister won't come if my dad comes. I had to appeal to her Christmas spirit which is difficult because she has none."

Gwen nuzzles his cheek. "I'm sorry."

"It's typical Penn family drama," he says with a smile. "Is your father here?"

Taking his hand, Gwen leads him to where Merlin and her father are discussing the intricacies of holiday flavoured coffee. She knows her father likes his coffee, but she never realized how passionate he is about them. She brings Arthur over and introduces them, all the time watching her father's face carefully for his reaction. There is wariness and a little uncertainty but Arthur exudes charm and her father is soon won over.

Very soon, the shop is filled with Arthur's and Merlin's friends and family. Arthur sticks close to her, introducing her to his friends and his sister. Tall, dressed all in black with sharp eyes that Gwen suspects never misses anything, Anne takes Gwen's hand in hers, nods almost imperceptibly and looks at her so intensely that Gwen wonders if Anne can see inside her head.

"Arthur talks about you a lot."

"Does he?" Gwen tries a smile even as her heart drums an irregular rhythm. "I hope it's all good."

"Glowingly good. He's besotted with you."

She glances at Arthur who is grinning. "I am. I just hope she's as besotted with me."

Unable to maintain eye-contact with Arthur who is staring at her intently, she looks back at Anne and asks her about her work. She finds out that Anne is basically what one calls a socialite and that she was the one who introduced Arthur to Mithian, someone Anne dismissively calls an airhead.

Beside her, Arthur rolls his eyes.

Merlin interrupts them, dragging his boyfriend over for more introductions. By the time Gwen has gone round the room, she's forgotten most of the names. Not that it really matters, the drinks are flowing, the music is playing and everyone is having fun. Gordon arrives later, after another Christmas party. Smiling and armed with oodles of small talk, Gwen chats with various people she's met for the first time. It feels strangely like one of the many parties they had to host in that past lives of theirs. There's a little sense of connection when Arthur catches her eye and smiles. She knows he's thinking the same thing.

Eventually, the crowd thins. Slightly inebriated and humming out of tune Christmas carols, Merlin clings on to his boyfriend's arm and they stumble out of the shop after saying slurred goodbyes. Gwen looks round at the mess in the shop and winces.

"It'll keep till tomorrow," says Arthur as he takes her hand. "Come, I have a present for you."

"Me too." Then she remembers Dr Gaius's present. Pulling it out of her pocket, she tears off the brown paper wrapping.

"Our rings," says Arthur as he watches from beside. "Our wedding rings. How did he get them?"

"I have no idea." She closes her hands around them. She's not sure how she feels about them. As much as she loves Arthur – and there's not point pretending she doesn't – she isn't keen on a life dictated by fate.

As if he can sense her fears, Arthur touches her closed hands. "They only mean what we want them to mean. They are not chains."

"Yeah." She puts the rings back into the box and slips them back into her pocket, making a note to ask Dr Gauis about the legality of stealing the rings, even if she is the rightful owner.

Arthur leads her to a table that's relatively clean and pushes away the cups littered on it. Digging into his pocket, Arthur brings out a small box and slides it towards her. Gwen swallows and opens it. Gently, she lifts out a delicate bracelet with small, purple jeweled flowers.

For the first time, Gwen sees Arthur look slightly bashful. "I used to buy you purple flowers."

"Arthur –"

He covers her hand. "I know. This is a different life and in many ways, we're probably different people and I know you're worried that we're depending too much on our past to build our relationship. But our past, it's important in some way. And that's what this represents. Our past and our future."

"I am worried about how I have only known you for a week or so and I have so many memories and feelings. It's frightening. And yet, this connection we have is oddly comforting."

She hears his laugh then feels his palm against her cheek. "It is a weird situation. But I love you and I believe we can make it work. And it is fun getting to know each other again."

"For all my talk about being wary of the past, I got you this."

His laughter warms her heart. "A plush dragon. It'll have a place of honour on my bed."

Arthur leans towards her and she lifts her face for his kiss. Against her lips, he murmurs, "I love you."

"I love you too," she says immediately, eyes closed.

He stills for a moment. "That's the first time you've said it."

"Oh."

There's amusement and affection in his voice. "You saying that, it's the best Christmas present. Say it again."

With a smile, she says, "I love you, Arthur Penn."

* * *

><p>AN:<p>

Happy holidays! And thanks for reading and commenting this year. I am very grateful for your interest in what I write. Definitely makes me want to write more. :D

Some background about the reincarnation stuff. Merlin get reincarnated fairly regularly and when he hits 18, he remembers everything. The first time it happened, he spent his life searching for meaning before he realised that there wasn't necessarily meaning. Kilgarrah is always reincarnated with him - he's been a lizard, a grasshopper and even a pig once (that was awkward). Arthur and Gwen are reincarnated less regularly, not always in the same lifetime and they have never remembered before this.


End file.
